Moments lost to me are frustrating, challenged by memory capacity. But the human brain is more powerful than any computer on the planet. Yet, the memory dump cycle is one I have not been able to prevent. I want to find my fortune by counting a million smiles from my past. I keep stopping before I even reach one hundred. I know I laughed more than once at that. I should count that experience five times for the times I do not remember.
High school was not fun. I did not want to go back after the horrible experiences of exclusion I felt. It was my perspective, my reality. I only remember smiling when I felt the anger in the room because I busted the curve on the test score. Yelp I am smiling right now about that. Joy, joy, joy! What an abundance of joy!
Oh, wait there was the summer naps I took in the old oak trees. Climbing to the middle of the tree, feeling the warm breeze, I escaped my reality to get as close to the clouds as I could and then I would sleep; peaceful and serene. I totally value those memories. It seems that I have found my abundance when I am in isolation. The fortune which comes from moments of connecting to my creator and my existence is truly a gem.
I am on the hardwood! Every time I release the ball the crowd screams “cash”. That was how I did it. Raining deep shots before they became three pointers, that was just a part of my game. Once you got to close, I got you with that first step, to the rim, slap the back board as if to say, “ you know you can’t hold me!” The golden moments like that resonate on a cosine wave as I cross another player over, they slip and the crowd yells, “whoa”. The precious gems I carry with me to help me reach my smile goal today. Approaching 1 million quickly!
It’s that time, they call my name, ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome back “Crysmys” (sounds like the holiday). Yeah, I am at the karaoke bar doing my Gladys Knight, Patti Labelle and Mary J. Blige renditions. I am the riches person in the world in those moments. I drink for free and eat for free because intoxicated people want to buy me a drink or something to eat. What a way to gain capital smiles.
Have you figured out my word? I treasure when I can be doing me for me and others are entertained. I treasure my time alone to center on what I am called to be. I still eat alone. I don’t climb trees any more. I still shoot, mentally. And I sing for Lord in the choir, on the praise team and every now and then I sing lead. I treasure smiles. I get them everyday now by working in a high school, with teens. I am back reliving the worse moments of my life in a perfect time in my life. Now, I love being in high school. I love the connection the students and I make and the comfort they get from feeling connected to an adult who will listen. I truly love the smiles on their face when they realize they can do the math. Yes, they can (and so can you). Every time a child smiles, it counts as 100 smiles for me. I am also counting the smile on your face right now from reading this. I treasure my moments when I understood, understand, used and use the gifts God has given me.